Dear Linux Penguin, How are you? I don't mean that as a greeting; I mean, how are you -- really? Jeff Goldblum asks about you all the time, and the MSN Butterfly said something just the other day. I keep telling them you're fine, that it's perfectly OK for someone to disappear for a while. But then I run into that Dell kid, and he says all he ever does now is get loaded over at your place, and it concerns me.
Remember: you were kicking it in the Antarctic, swallowing fish and just hanging out with your equally nattily-dressed friends. Next thing you know, some computer science major is stuffing you into a canvas sack, throwing you in a cooler, and heading to Palo Alto. I'm reminding you of this so you can see: it's their problem. Not yours. You're just a regular, happy-go-lucky waterfowl who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Don't let the bastards grind you down, Linux Penguin. Put down that bottle of Scotch, lift your beak up high, and know that things will improve. Sure, it may get bleaker before it gets better, but you're a survivor. Please don't get trapped in that downward spiral of near-celebrity depression which has claimed so many wannabe-stars. I don't want to find your bloated carcass in a Las Vegas hotel room. To that end, you should also quit hanging out with Andy Dick. I know he can party like nobody's business, but too many people in your position have met an untimely demise after keeping pace with the big Dick. He's nothing but trouble. With
love, |
I
realize you have expectations for your life which have not been met,
but don't despair, Linux Penguin! A revolution does not occur overnight.
So what if that deal with Wal-Mart isn't going so well? And who cares
about SCO and those lawsuits? Not you! Never!posted by Merrill